Kansas! It's always Kansas! This time the state that is often mentioned synonymously with the American Heartland is the first US state to pass emergency legislation banning the practice of evolution. As the eminent newspaper The Onion reported on Tuesday, any genetic alterations of any organism will be prosecuted. Whether a bacterium mutates a surface protein or a fruit fly develops a new wing pattern - all non-compliant species are now facing jailtime. This spectacular development joins other groundbreaking movements from Kansas such as the drive to ban teaching of the second law of thermodynamics ("no to entropy!") or the movement to refute gravity with the theory of "intelligent falling".
  TOPEKA, KS—Any living being that undergoes genetic modification favoring survival could face jail time under the new law.  More quotes:
"Barn swallows that develop lighter, more streamlined builds to enable faster migration, for example, could live out the rest of their brief lives in prison," said Indiana University chemist and pro-intelligent-design author Robert Hellenbaum, who helped compose the language of the law. "And butterflies who mimic the wing patterns and colors of other butterflies for an adaptive advantage, well, their days of flaunting God's will are over."
P.S.: In this day and age, when religious radicals are seriously defending even the most outdated world-views, it is necessary to identify satire as such. The risk of confusion with actual insanity would otherwise be too great 
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Anonymous
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